CULTURE WARS: Aliens Just Aren't Manly Enough These Days, Says TV Host

BRAVE NEW WORLD 

TV Host Tells Aliens...

He's Not Putting Up With Their Big Eyes, Big Heads & Weak, Skinny Arms Anymore  

Aliens Are Too 'Feminine' Nowadays, He Says. So Man Up

On April 8th, 2026, a National TV host explained the problems of defining gender in modern America by using aliens as an example of a drift toward what he considers weakness – away from the days when men were men. 

Aliens (not illegal aliens, but 'aliens' in the original sense – from outer space) are just not stepping up to the plate anymore. They aren't peeing while standing, or yucking it up with their buddies, the host maintained. 

Martians are way too girly. Their buggy eyes and erased masculinity reveal a problem in the culture, he said, echoing the concerns of War Secretary Pete Hegseth, who has criticized the Boy Scouts, the military, universities, and even 4-star generals for not being manly enough. 

According to Rob Finnerty of Newsmax: 

"And whether you believe in them or not, everybody has heard about beings from another planet. And the descriptions are almost always the same. They're smaller, big eyes, big heads, weak, stringy little arms, pale, no gender. And usually they're feminine and they always look the same. You never have seen an alien peeing standing up in a movie or like, yucking it up with his alien buddies. That's never happened.

"And for some reason, the lines between gender are always blurred with aliens, which I think is very odd. And then you think about what's happening here, back on Earth right now on the left, where masculinity is being erased. And somehow in less than 100 years, we went from this right here, men being men, when that was accepted — these are the men who built the Empire State Building — to this, a man in a very fragile state…”

____

BACK IN THE OLD DAYS, ALIENS WERE MANLY MEN 

...NOT WIMPS

In The 1950s, Aliens Were Portrayed Like This: