You Can Pry My Dunkin' Latte Out Of My Cold, Dead Hands, RFK Jr.!

HISTORY WITH THE JOURNAL 

It's The Boston Tea Party All Over Again 

But RFK Jr. Says All He's Trying To Do 

Is Protect "Teenage Girls"  

You Can Trash The Scouts, & Harvard University, & People Who Fly On Airplanes In Comfortable Clothes Instead of Dressing Up 

... But You're Risking A Fight When You Attack Boston's Caffeine Fix 

The Boston Tea Party, in case we've forgotten, revolved around two surprisingly recurring  concepts:

1. Tariffs... and 

2. Americans' love of caffeine. 

Since the successful rebellion that freed our country from England's crushing tea tariffs, we have drifted, as a nation, away from tea... to coffee as our primary source of caffeine. Now, 237 years later, we again are in a place where both tariffs and caffeine are in the news. 

For decades, Americans drank instant coffee, not knowing, really, how delicious the real thing was. When Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, and myriad other small coffee shops brought European-style lattes and steamed coffees to the Western Hemisphere, it took coffee up a notch, and its popularity has exponentially grown.  

This week, in March, 2026, RFK Jr., who last April announced that people who eat donuts should not be allowed to have "free health care" due to their supposed poor life choices, has taken a swipe at America's hugely popular coffee shops. 

RFK Jr. – a former admitted heroin addict who recently said he used to snort cocaine off of toilet seats and it never hurt him – is currently in charge of making medical decisions for the American people. 

His dislike of donuts seemed to skate by, but his attacks on sugared coffee have not been well received. 

Coffee drinking in America is on the rise. Two out of three Americans drink coffee every single day – for around 400 million cups. The number two drink in America is bottled water. 

According to the National Coffee Association, "specialty coffee" is on the rise, with almost half of all American adults drinking it. Espresso-based coffees, like lattes, mochas, macchiatos and so on are also on the rise. 

Almost 60% of coffees drunk in America are "specialty" coffees.

RFK Jr. has said that he is trying to protect "teenage girls" from being endangered when they drink a sugared iced coffee. 

He recently said:

"We're gonna ask Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks, show us the safety data that show that it's OK for a teenage girl to drink an iced coffee with 115 grams of sugar in it. I don't think they're gonna be able to do it." -- RFK Jr. 

(At the present time, of course, young girls' health and safety is a major concern for Americans, Europeans, and even the King of England. But the safety issue isn't about sugar in coffee. It's about the Epstein files, and the danger of sexual attacks on children and teenage girls by unnamed men.)

As for the sugar in coffee, RFK Jr, representing the U.S. government, has pinpointed both Starbucks and Dunkin,' two major specialty coffee franchises, for examination. 

Perhaps not surprisingly, Americans have kicked back against the battle against America's morning java, thinking that yes, sugar is not that great. 

But sugar is not cocaine, or heroin. And it's certainly not as bad as endangering young girls by trafficking them into sexual predation and abuse. 

On the East Coast, the home of the American Revolution and the Boston Tea Party, the slogan at Dunkin'  Donuts is "America runs on Dunkin'." 

Coffee is an icon. A symbol of Americanness. 

Kind of like Harvard, or the Scouts. 

Here are some of the headlines:

______________

THE HEADLINES

RFK JR.

TAKES A DUNKIN'

MARCH, 2026